The Onion | 5 January 2005

2004: A LOOK BACK AT THE YEAR’S TOP STORIES


Nation Delighted By Rich Ass Who Fires People


Non-Priest Arrested On Charges Of Child Molestation


Poll: Americans Feel Safer
With Martha Stewart In Jail
WASHINGTON, DC (Oct. 12)—According to a poll released by the Pew Research Center Monday, Americans "feel safer" with Martha Stewart in prison.