An Open letter to Rod Stewart

Dear Roderick David Stewart,

Please stop ruining ever trip down classic rock lane with your incessant demands on a poor girl named Maggie. Let Maggie sleep. For that matter, let sleeping Maggies lie. Rod, God only knows how you tempted some innocent woman into your villainous clutches in the first place, but it must all come to an end, for all our sakes.

I don't care how many records you've sold. I don't care how many people you think want to sleep with you - get out of the classic rock business.

Any person who really wanted to hear you screech away about your stupid love problems has probably already got your trashy collection already. That is why I am summarily asking you to remove yourself from classic rock radio in all of its forms. Slip not into the upbeat grooves of the early, mid or late sixties. Be gone from all things harder, heavier and more 70s-like. Retreat from the dark alleys of the 'Rock Favorites'. Your time to retire from rock is at hand.

So, before you disgrace yourself and anyone who would call themselves family, take a hint and go now and forever hold your peace. The rock world will be a better place without you.

Yours truly,
Running from Rod songs

P.S. You've got 5 kids???? Dammit if they start learning to sing.