Watching Empire Strikes Back the other night got me thinking about what it would be like to sit in the movies with the original Star Wars (that's IV-VI) characters. Despite the lovable characters, I think they'd make horrible movie partners. Here's why...
1. Chewbacca : bad smell, not a good pre-movie conversationalist.
2. Darth Vader : you'd never hear any movie dialogue with all that loud asthmatic breathing going on, also far too busy trying to get you to come to the Dark Side during slow moving scenes.
3. The Droids (C-3P0 and R2-D2) : these two are out because they'd argue through the whole movie.
4. Obi-won : annoying after-life glow far too distracting.
5. Yoda : would ruin the end of the movie with pesky Jedi foresight.
6. Luke : trying to make out with sister Leia while Han Solo isn't looking would be disturbing, to say the least.
7. Han Solo : paranoiac bounty hunter dodging would get old and frustrating.
8. Princess Leia : funny hair-buns would keep you laughing during all the serious parts.
9. The Emperor : frequent attempts to conquer the movie theater would become upsetting.
10. Storm Troopers : where would you sit with all of these guys saving seats for the Empire's army?
11. Ewoks : see Chewbacca.
12. Boba Fett : constantly throwing popcorn at Han would get Boba, and possibly you, kicked out of the theater.
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1 comment:
Ahahahahahahaha!
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