Free Hipness Here

My friends, if you know nothing of THIS MODERN WORLD, you just ain't hip. But, seeing how you ain't hip you probably don't care that you're not hip. Never fear! I will hip you up. Oh, yes! I bring hipness in plentitude to the hipless masses. Simply follow this plan and hipness is yours!

Step 1
Read this!

Step 2
Read this!

Step 3
Go away and be cool. Practice makes precision.